It shouldn't happen to anyone!

October 16, 2019  •  3 Comments

Following on from a conversation that we were involved within a Facebook Wedding Group, I wanted to talk about what is not acceptable from Wedding Suppliers or Wedding Guests during your wedding.

Over my years in the industry, I've heard many horror stories of photographers, DJ's and other wedding professionals verbally and sexually abusing wedding guests, these are also often highlighted in the press, yet little is ever mentioned about the reverse cases.

I've written in a previous blog post about potential clients discriminating against myself for being overweight and that I wouldn't fit in at their wedding. At the time this really upset me to the extent that I nearly gave up. Sadly over the last year, this has happened more than once now, along with multiple cases of verbal abuse from the general public, and wedding guests alike. 

When a female photographer first raised the subject, she was stating that at a recent wedding a drunk guest had grabbed her bottom and that on several other occasions she had been propositioned or sexist comments had been made.

As you would imagine within a group primarily containing female members, this caused an uproar, and many of the brides to be said that they would kick the guest out etc, the same view was raised rightly if a racist comment or joke was made.

A few other female suppliers also added their stories of sexual comments and bum pinching/slapping all disgraceful, so I decided to add my own experiences from being unbooked as a photographer after a meeting due to my weight to the fact that at over 90% of the weddings we photograph, at least one guest will either made a rude comments, verbal abuse, or just snigger to other guests about the fat photographer. 

My comments shocked a few people, however for whatever reason did not cause the same reaction as some of the women's stories, which I very much understand as calling someone fat is not that same a sexual abuse, but it is still abuse. 

Please know this is not a blog to get sympathy in any way, however following some feedback from a recent wedding, where the abuse was a little more intense than usual; even to the extent where someone badgered me to have a photo taken with them so they could post it on Instagram extending their abuse further, I realised that it had affected my work that day and I had missed a few photos as I wanted to avoid the individual/ring leader or the abuse. 

I should also state that one of my best friends only became so after some drunken name-calling 30 years ago, so I'm not overly sensitive but have found of late that the socially accepted level has increased mainly due to social media, and it's funny to laugh at certain groups of people, but please be assured whichever name you give it, it is abuse, bullying, discrimination, all of which would be illegal if sexual or racial.

So please, can you ask yourself these questions, if it was your wedding day and you witnessed or were told a guest was abusing or bullying a supplier, how would you react?

Thank You for reading.

Peace and Love,

Roger.


Comments

Kerry(non-registered)
If o had of know a guest at my wedding had made a comment he would have been named and shamed by me via the DJ. I don’t tolerate any kind of abuse and they then would have to leave whilst all the guests laugh at the shamed person. I wish I had of known at the time not months later.
Nicola(non-registered)
Absolutely disgraceful. Anyone at our wedding that acted this way would be asked to leave! Cannot believe this happens. Who has the right to say anything like that. My mind boggles. Shocking behaviour!
Olivia(non-registered)
I'd kick em out Roger if anyone made a comment like that
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